Anagha writes “Four suicide Letters”

Anagha Bharadwaj is a student and self-proclaimed romantic.
Watch her stellar performance of “Four Suicide Letters” here.

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Four Suicide Letters

Four Suicide Letters from yours truly:

 

I’ve always been a hopeless romantic,
trying to find home in humans, trying to find hands
that fit into mine
like keys into the rusty locks of my main door,
trying to find smells
like the cinnamon and clove of my mother’s kitchen.
The songs that I wanted to hear the most
were my father’s self taught melodies
on others’ pianos.
I’ve always looked for home in people
and in places
and I’ve had to return disappointed more times than I would have liked.
This is how I learned that home is just a concept
and concepts can be unlearned.
I stop and breathe,
I let it go.
I won’t miss home much.

 

We’re a family of three living three different lives.
We’re a family of three too afraid to get too familiar.
I’m not complaining.
We’re a family of three who’ve learned to live in worlds of our own.
The intersections are bittersweet venn-diagrams
where comforting kisses overlap heartbreaks.
We’re a family of three.
And you will miss me.
And I will miss you.

 

3.

I’m sure you’ll find out everything I’ve always wanted to tell you after I’m gone.
I’d talk so excitedly about you.
EVERYBODY knew.
You’ve always been the one even when you didn’t believe it.
I’m glad we grew apart.
Now you don’t have to see this.

 

4.

You’re coffee on a sleepy morning,
chocolate to an aching heart,
heartbeat to my ear
and a book for a burning soul.
You’re a sky of clouds for a perfect picture,
and the most played song on my playlist.
You’re a movie I’m watching. I’ve watched it a thousand times before.
You’re a spoken word poem on friendship,
a shot of vodka on a bad day,
Christmas lights in July.
You’re Friday night and Saturday morning.
You’re my muse.
You…
You deserve better.

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Four Suicide Letters‘ is an original work created and owned by Anagha Bharadwaj.
Mouth of Word owns exclusive rights to distribution of the same. If you are interested in
cross-posting this poem, please contact us on mouthofword.in@gmail.com

Bangalore, dark poetry, family, heartbreak, Performance, suicide, video